Couples, marriage, divorce, counseling, therapy, anger, stress, military, LGBT, bilingual, children, ADHD

Author Archives: Anastacia Martinez

Spring break wishes

March 8th, 2013 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Uncategorized - (34 Comments)

Spring break is coming up, so it is time to create some new happy  memories with our love ones. Let’s not forget about ourselves. When it comes to looking after others-

whether it is our children, spouse and friends- we can give what we possess. However, it is also true, that we can develop what we do not have by giving to others.

The point being, that we always at the core – of our own lives.


Trauma and sexual abuse- children

March 4th, 2013 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Children - (7 Comments)

Attended some training on TF- CBT or Trauma-focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy- one more tool to help might children clients with trauma of sexual abuse.

“I win – you lose”- the bully solution

February 19th, 2013 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Couples - (0 Comments)

You’re in it to win it at all cost and nothing is going to stop you:

“If to save my neck, I have to risk yours- I will do anything in my power to bring you down. I will play dirty–calling you names to make you feel worthless- and therefore an easier prey. Manipulating, lying, and humiliating will not be too much for me to do until I get my way.”

When you take this stand, the marriage looses. Everybody loses because in a partnership- such as that of marriage- you cannot claim all the earnings, while your spouse walks away empty handed.


November 6th, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Parenting - (4 Comments)

If your child is showing signs of frequent distraction, disobedience, tantrums, poor school grades, difficulty falling or staying asleep, hyperactivity, restlessness, irritability, stubborness and inability to keep friends, you may want to consult with a professional. For more information on ADD/ADHD- I recommend that you go to the resource section of this Web Site and look into : Born to Explore: The Other Side of ADD/ADHD.

Love to hear your comments about it.


November 6th, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

I appreciate the responses to my blog from a handful of followers. I will try to continue working to respond to your interest. There seems to be a keen interest wen it comes to couples’s communication, infidelity and the effects of the internet.

The Five Love Languages

November 1st, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Couples | Military - (11 Comments)

“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, is an excellent book about what love means to us individually and how to identify and communicate that to our spouse/partner.

Chapman describes how the way that we give love, is not always the same that we would like to receive it.

For instance, you may be in your comfort zone when you buy your spouse some chocolate. However, you may prefer to receive affection from him/her. By the same token, your spouse/partner may have preferences of their own.

This concept is so effective that the Military has adapted it as the basis for one of their couple’s retreats.

Chapman describes the Love Languages as follows:

#1 Words of Affirmation- Thank you, you are looking good, etc.

#2 Quality Time- meaningful time together- fully present with each other

#3 Receiving Gifts- just as I mentioned above- tokens of love

#4 Acts of Service- making you a cup of coffer, doing laundy.

#5 Physical Touch- a favorite of many- from affection to sex.

The book includes a self-test for Men and Women to identify your primary and secondary preference.

When you take into account these differences, and identify your preference, as well as your

spouse/partner’s preference- you stand a better chance of getting what you want and giving

your spouse/partner what is most meaningful to them.

Military spouses

October 30th, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Military - (1 Comments)

I see i lot of military in my practice- I admire and respect their sacrifice. Military spouses, though, are the unsung heroes. They go unnoticed by the mass media, and generally unappreciated. My hat is off to them.

Sex/porn/internet addiction support groups

October 25th, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Internet - (1 Comments)

Individual therapy is only a component of a comprehensive program necessary in supporting the addict- internet, sex, porn, alcohol/drug abuse struggling with recovery. That is why, I refer clients addressing issues of addiction to the recovery groups sponsored by Del Sol Church;

They offer a combination of Twelve Steps, spiritual support and community support for both males and females and their love ones.


October 23rd, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Uncategorized - (5 Comments)

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
When it comes to parenting, there is a basic rule: Speak less and Act more.
Giving your child too many explanations will make him/her believe you are on an equal level wih him/her,
So- why listen to you?
The arguments can go on forever, while the dishes are still not done, and picking up their room seems more of an ideology rather than something that can be implemented in actual practice.
The competition on who can come up with the best reasons to do , or not do, depending on which side of the fence you are on, can be endless.
One reason should be sufficient- if it is really necessary. For instance “You cannot eat cookies right now because we are getting ready to have dinner”- Good enough explanation- respectfull and concise.
On the other hand, no reasons really needed to ask a child to stop hitting his brother- a stop, either or choice should be given in place of an explanation.
Remember-be brief, and clear. Avoid being repetitious.

We moved!

October 19th, 2012 | Posted by Anastacia Martinez in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

We are finally at our new location at 3127 Montana. We are also very lucky to welcome Monica H. Torres, LPC to our practice. Welcome Monica!